Martha, Martha, Martha

Didn't Dove chocolate used to push the idea of a chocolate being a little break from life? Break time is over, baby. Martha is in the house.

One of Santa's stocking choices at my house was the new Dove caramel and peppermint chocolates. (I can vote for each as being worth the calories, especially the two-level peppermint version.) But as we made our way through the foil wrappers, my husband and discovered that Martha now adds a little Christmas "hint" inside each one. Nothing like adding a dose of guilt to your holiday indulgences.

After opening a couple of wrappers, we started doing dramatic readings of all the advice Martha thought we needed:

"String strands of lights between the trees in your yard." (Ooooh, Martha -- I never would have thought of that. The airport runway effect is so festive.)

"Turn to a tried-and-true recipe for an important get-together." (Darn. I was finally going to try that recipe for pickled sheeps' eyeballs.)

"Try a single beautiful blossom at each place setting." (It didn't work. The family still demanded food.)

"Use place cards to label food on a buffet table." (Good idea. Is "eyeball" one word or two?)

"Keep lighting low and candles lit when entertaining."

Candles, schmandles. Keep yourself lit, Stewart, and let the rest of us enjoy our chocolate in peace.