Paddle faster, I hear peanut butter

When a Smart Balance press kit arrived at my desk, I wasn't all that interested in the peanut butter inside. (My rule: Never eat peanut butter that has more than two ingredients. This one has five, including evaporated cane juice. Buh-bye.)

But the tool that came in the kit certainly caused a stir in my office: A Cuisipro Peanut Butter & Jelly Spreader.

Apparently, America is suffering from a terrible dilemma, caused when we have to use the same knife in our peanut butter and our jelly.

The spread looks a lot like a kayak paddle. In fact, I wondered if some musing river rat came up with the idea while waiting to break into the peanut butter in his back pack.

The two ends are helpfully colored brown (for peanut butter) and purple (for jelly). The directions -- yes, it has directions -- explain "Color-coded ends eliminate the risk of mixing food items." Some food journalist I am. I had no idea that getting peanut butter in your jelly qualifies as risky behavior.

Sadly, in practice, I have to report the spreader doesn't work all that well. You have to hold it in the middle, which is awkward. And unless you have very small hands, you're going to get either peanut butter or jelly on the heel of your hand.

Silly complaint? Sure. But then again, it's a color-coded peanut butter and jelly spread. It's $10 suggested retail, but you can order it on Amazon for $8.51. It does come with a 25-year warranty, which should keep it circulating through Christmas gag gift piles for years to come.